In Appreciation of Friendship

 Recently I attended the 40-day memorial service of a dear friend in Athens. The Orthodox Church holds that the soul remains earth-bound during this period and this service marks the time when the soul moves on to its final resting place. This belief helps palliate a little the inevitable shock of death and the service itself, being more for family and close friends, is a more intimate, less traumatic event than the funeral.

I first visited Greece in 1974. I had been in a dark place in my life, and am eternally grateful to Rosie who invited me to join her on holiday in Greece. That trip was to have a major impact on my life. It was also an eventful chapter in Greek history as, while our focus was on beach-life and having fun, all around us the Junta crumbled, young Greeks were conscripted to deal with the Turkish invasion of Cyprus, and eventually democracy returned to the Hellenic State.

                                                
Nevertheless, I was besotted with the country and its people and on, my return, could tell a colleague that I believed my fate lay there. The following year, as I studied conversational Greek at night classes, I bumped into Martine, who taught French at our school. She loved Scotland and was studying its history. We became firm friends and decided to holiday in Greece together the summer of ’75 She enlisted my help – and that of my basic Greek - to organize a rendezvous with Betta, her long-term pen-pal. We met up and had a glorious summer with her in Paleon Phaleron, keeping her company while her parents holidayed on their home island of Andros.

                                                    

 Betta worked in a department in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and was responsible for organizing accommodation and entertainment for foreign correspondents. This meant that Martine and I, as foreign ‘journalists’, accompanied Betta to Athenian nightclubs – given best tables and gardenia sprays. These fragrant blooms always remind me of those golden days of our youth!

 After four difficult years of dealing with homesickness for Greece despite regular visits, in 1977 I finally managed to come and work here. Though I was based in Thessaloniki, we still kept in regular contact. 

                                              

I knew that Betta had been having health problems last year and I’m so glad, after lock-down lift-up in May ‘21, we had managed a meet-up when Z and I went a trip down south. She had just had the diagnosis made and was about to begin chemotherapy. Little did I know that would be our final meeting!

 Angeliki, my friend and ex- app-partner from Mati, was kind enough to offer me hospitality and to accompany me to the service - I was so glad she was there. We lit candles and laid roses at the graveside, while Martine was attending mass and offering prayers in Tours. As we stood there, the clouds gradually dissipated and gave way to glorious sunshine. I like to think, as I had a wee chat with her son and husband, that Betta was smiling down on us.

                                                              

Afterwards Angeliki and I met up with Alison, a friend of a mutual friend who moved to Athens from Cairo a couple of years ago. We walked in the quiet, sunny city centre and headed towards Monesteraki where we enjoyed some wine and excellent food at a gourmet establishment run by a chef who is in the Greek Masterchef program.

             
                                

 

The good company of these two lady-buds lightened my heart and I felt the day had essentially been a dedication to real friendship.

 As I headed to the airport, I realized that for the first time in 37 years I was in an Athens that no longer contained my friend. It was then I fully appreciated the fact that a bright light had been extinguished from the capital city and from my life.

 Betta, for your sweet friendship I thank you. May the Ferryman afford you a smooth crossing!